There are many poignant, mysterious, and wondrous nuances to birth and death. I wrote and re-wrote this blog a few times. At the time of writing the blog, Eddie and I were in the sacred position of supporting a friend make the transition from this life to the light of Love. He was lying in a hospital bed, his body weakened by the cancer that had spread through him, his state of mind affected. His consciousness moving from this plane of existence to the next. In death, he is reborn, and one of these days a family will be celebrating his entrance into their lives. He will bring great joy and once again be invited to deepen his experience of love.

Moments in Creation

Birth and death are the most miraculous moments in creation. Birth – the process of consciousness manifesting into form, and death – at the right time, consciousness transitioning and taking on another state of being.

Most people focus on the joy of birth (new life) and grief of death (missing their loved ones). For spiritual aspirants the opposite can be true, the grief of birth (being caught in the play of creation) the joy of death (the return home). It is relative.

Miracles of Love

The mind struggles to come to terms with death, the end of all that it clings to. It celebrates birth, the new adventure, possibilities, youth. From an aware perspective, it is clear that birth and death are inextricably linked. These are the moments when the Creators’ power and mysterious magnificence are felt.

For me, the process of birth and death are equally extraordinary. Having experienced an abortion, a stillbirth and further 3 miscarriages, one could say that my experience of birth is one of death. But this would not be true. I had the most sublime encounters with the ONE Self every time. Each time i faced death i was reminded there is no death, only infinite Truth that reveals itself through Love.

What is born?

From the initial stages of desire, conception, pregnancy and birth, the soul that is drawn into embodiment is invited to know love, and to love. The circumstances of each birth are dictated by the individuated souls’ desires and attachments, by its collected memories, and by individual and ancestral tendencies.

Your body which is born and dies is the temple of God (THAT – Absolute Love and Truth), it is not God, merely a vesture of THAT. THAT has chosen the best form for the individuated soul (persona/mind) to evolve and finally merge into THAT which created IT. The in dweller is God – THAT.

What dies?

First the body, then the breath body. The mind continues on living, refining its samskaras (memories) and vasanas (tendencies) life after life, until it is free from desires. Freed from desires, the mind finally rests in a state of no desire. It dissolves into the eternal all pervasive everlasting ONE Consciousness.

Your desires do not die with you. You could say that the cycle of birth and death is the result of desire. So, what dies? The shell (the temple) is dropped, so the soul is free to find new expression, grow in love. You can use the analogy of a car. You drive a car, and over a period of years the car starts to age, or perhaps it runs into another car, after a while it can no longer be salvaged. It’s time to let it go, buy a new car and move on. Your car died. You are still alive.

Similarly, the in-dweller, God is driving your car (the body), is giving your mind (persona) opportunity after opportunity to detach, discern and experience joy. The mind may not be aware of this because it is clouded by the pull of the senses, cultural conditioning, stories, fears, and desires, but what it is seeking is to Love and know Truth.  

In truth, I have been fascinated by death from an early age. There were times in my life when I longed for its embrace. I have had a few death experiences, for example, after giving birth, I died for a few minutes… but let’s leave that for the next blog.

Here is a poem I wrote after Ma (my mother who was mother to many) passed away.

Death

It is
strange
Final
Complete
Yet
Oddly
Incomplete
Unresolved
A chapter that was never read
A tapestry with missing threads
Framed in
The end
For whom?

There is no ending
Or beginning
My hand outstretched
Her imaginary caress
Tears, loss, gratitude, it is all the same
An immense ache
Sweet joys shared
Stretching into an unknown expanse
Death messes with your mind

Thoughts easily celebrate birth
Embracing attachment
But death makes nonsense
Of all that the mind holds dear
An invitation to experience
Love
Impermanence
Truth
When the darkness descends
All that is left is – Light

Light my way
Beloved Heart
Trust, remind me
I am forgiven
We are destined
United in love
Liberated

Maria’s thoughts on Birth and Death

pictures of Maria as a child

I’m going to talk about birth and death from my personal experience and what I’ve witnessed in my life so far. For me, birth and death are the beginning and the end of physical life, the cycle of a being, the lifespan of existence.

Birth is “the process of bringing forth a child from the uterus, or womb”, this is the definition I found online. Yet, for me, birth is much more. Going back to when I was young, the concept of birth in my environmental (cultural) upbringing was sometimes taboo, superstition, and most times not spoken about. There were different tales about conception and birth. People wouldn’t speak about it openly. There was tension there, a fear of bad births, stillbirth, complications for the mother and the baby and so on. This tension would only cease when the mother and baby were healthy and back home. 

The plane

When I was a child, about 4 years old, I recall my mother went to the hospital to give birth to my brother. I was at home with my grandma who was looking after me in my mother’s absence, anxiously playing outside, and as an aeroplane passed by, my grandma said “Look, the plane is taking the baby to your mum!” I believed her and started jumping up and down knowing that a baby is coming home soon. I don’t remember when I found out the truth about birth. Now, I know for sure that babies don’t arrive on an aeroplane.

Birth

I have given birth 4 times. Each experience of giving birth was unique. I was so fortunate that my body met the essential requirements for a natural birth. I could choose to experience giving birth, without gas or epidural. However, an induction injection was required in most of the births either to speed up the process or to save one of my child’s lives.

Despite, the superstitions and fear I grew up with surrounding birth, my belief system wasn’t too deeply affected by them, and I didn’t let them hold me back in life. Perhaps because science has developed tremendously since, or because of my deep sense of trust in God. The desire to be a mother was far greater than the fear of giving birth. Deep inside, I knew, that whatever the experience I’d have to go through, I would be ok. Not all my pregnancies were truly jolly or easy. During one pregnancy I had to spend most of the gestational period on bed rest because the placenta had moved. In the middle of another pregnancy, I had a bad fall, so I faced the fear of losing a baby at various stages of my pregnancy.

Before the births, other fears also kicked in. Now and then in the back of my mind, I questioned myself, “Is he/she healthy, perfect? What if they are not? What would I do? Am I going to be a good parent?” Between the challenges and moments of self-inquiry during the various pregnancies, I also experienced moments of joy. I was amazed by the capacity to create and bring new life into the world.

Exploration

During the birthing process of each child, I used breathing exercises to help me to deal with the contractions and the physical discomfort. Becoming a mother fed my curiosity to seek answers. The yearning to know the deeper meaning of existence (life) grew stronger. I explored Meditation, De Silva mind control, and reiki. They helped to create a discipline of self-care and I was able to give birth totally pain-free. Giving birth to a child was one of the most beautiful gifts I experienced in my life. It is a gift! The gratitude I feel is too great for me to fully express in words.

Death

Today, I can talk about death more openly and fearlessly.  For many years I was afraid of death. The thought of seeing someone dying or dead would make my body shake with fear. Knowing that in one minute a being exists and the next they’re gone. It was a weird feeling, that I would avoid at all costs. Growing up, I was surrounded by women who would attempt suicide as an escape from mental and physical abuse, pain, and difficulties in life, or as a call for attention.

“Death is just a passage”

My mum used to say regularly, “Death is just a passage”. It was only years later that I fully understood the meaning of that. When I was looking after my late husband, in his final few months, I witnessed moments of frustration in his life where he felt like he wanted to die. However, as he got closer to death, I noticed a shift and he felt that life was a gift, he wanted to fight to live. During this process, I witnessed the vulnerability and fragility of what it is to be human. It taught me a lot about the weakness of the human body and the strength of what it can endure. I finally understood how precious and rare life is. Death showed me to live life as authentically and fully as possible.

During my late husband’s time of passing, I experienced a beautiful moment, when he grabbed my arm and squeezed it tight before exiting the world with one last breath. His way of saying goodbye. In that moment, I was no longer scared of death. I was privileged to have been present during that experience and witness the passage of death.

Closure

I’ve noticed people close to their time of death need closure; to forgive, ask for forgiveness, reminisce, evaluate their life, and let go of past regrets. So, that they can leave in peace. For the ones left behind, who’ve experienced loss they go through the process of grief. This can be a challenge, learning to live with grief. It comes with emotional pain, mixed emotions, a sense of loss, and a feeling of being left behind. I found (LT) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) better equipped me to support myself when healing grief.

LiberatingTouch

As a therapist, the use of LiberatingTouch (LT) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) helped me understand and support others in finding balance in life, after going through loss.

Today, I see birth and death as a cycle. A beginning and an end of an earthly existence, that occurs in humans, animals and in nature too. Within existence, the cycle repeats itself several times. We die and are reborn constantly as we evolve.  I believe in life after life (reincarnation). We come to experience and complete the cycle of birth and death and attain Moksha (Liberation). 

Maria is a gifted and loving LiberatingTouch Facilitator. She has touched the lives of countless people with her passion for life and love of nature. Maria runs online LiberatingTouch Detachment classes and provides healing LiberatingTouch Intensives in Portugal. To book a session or join one of her classes, please email her at – mdarkadas@gmail.com

That’s all for now, till our next encounter, blessings and love, Ranjana

Ps. If you would like to know how to navigate your desires, relationships, and life with LiberatingTouch you may be interested in joining our next workshop “Living Compass” beginning 9th September 2023. Details can be found at: https://fb.me/e/G7cp0c9e 

*LiberatingTouch® (LT) IS: Yoga (Truth), Conscious living (Self-Responsibility), Meditation (Peace), Healing (Love).