A special THANK YOU to all those that sent me messages, comments, and feedback following the last blog on desire. You can revisit it at – https://whatwecan.com/2023/05/13/the-big-questions-desire/

In this blog, we’ll take a closer look at desire and discernment, desire and disappointment, desire and confusion, desire and regret…

Desire and discernment

Here is one of the comments I received –

I would like to learn more about how to discern divine desire from desires that stem from fear and lack.  

Have you experienced joy for no reason? The joy that simply arises and fills you unexpectedly? If you have, then discernment is going to be easy. Follow the joy.

If you haven’t experienced this, then connecting to the Infinite Intelligence within you (E.g., by connecting to the Illumined Self via the LiberatingTouch Tree Meditation) and inquiring, “What are the origins of this desire?” will help. Pay attention to the answer, it may be cryptic, sit with it. As you contemplate the hints and clues arising from your inquiry, your awareness will expand and you will learn that every desire has multiple layers to it.

Another avenue of discernment would be to pay attention to control. Is the desire born out of the need to control? If it is then you know its origins are fear.

The fact is, even if the desire within you stems from Love and Truth (Divinity) if you are fearful or anxious about anything (absolutely anything), the desire regardless of its origins will become tainted by fear.

All desires take us on journeys, they are like seeds that grow into plants. A mango seed does not grow into a banana tree. It grows into a mango tree, and even when it grows into a mango tree there is no way to be certain of when it will bear fruit. Therefore, even if you experience fear, trust that the seed of Love (the desire to love and be loved) has been planted in your heart, it will surely grow into the Tree of Love.

Desire and deceit

One of the reasons it is hard to discern is because of the lies we tell ourselves about our desires. You believe that you have no choice, there is no other way, and because you are so afraid of not getting what you want, your logic gets perverted.

Desires and disappointment

Your greatest challenge concerning desire is healing your reaction to disappointment. People are terrified of being let down. It is one of the hurdles that every person needs to overcome. Many are scared of experiencing disappointment, so much so, they would rather not desire, dream, or even open to the possibility. It is the tragedy of our times.

Disappointment is the most natural event in nature. It is bound to happen, being scared of disappointment, is like being scared of waking up in the morning. Resistance to disappointment sabotages your equanimity and joy.

Desire and confusion

Another question that came our way was –

Why do I get into such a pickle about my desires?

This is easy to answer, it’s because of your conflicting desires and this causes confusion. When you want the dishes done and you don’t want to do them. Or when you want to help someone but you don’t want to listen to them. You want to stop eating sugar, but you want to drink Coke. When you want to have your cake and eat it, you have a muddled cake. The only way not to get into a pickle is to pause, pay attention to your conscience (innate wisdom) and intuition (the guidance from God – Love and Truth) and wait for clarity. When you don’t know, be patient, pause, connect within and wait until you know… and Trust.

This LiberatingTouch exercise of resting at the Tree will help you reconnect with nature’s wisdom.

Regret and desire

For many people regret and desire go hand in hand. What they wanted did not happen. What happened they did not want. Regret keeps people stuck in the past, in disappointment and grief.

One of my big aha moments came when looking in the mirror. As I paused to look at the beauty that beamed back at me, I found myself thinking, I have spent over 50 years not appreciating this body and the gift that is. In my early years, I used to be so caught up in image angst that I missed my window to celebrate youth…Yes, it is all a bit crazy making.

Once, I chose to love and respect this vessel that is ageing, stiffening, and weakening, I felt a sense of relief, contentment and peace. Although this choice did not make up for lost youth, it helps me age with dignity and joy.  

It’s important to note that body consciousness is a giant hurdle on the path of Self-Realisation.

Gratitude and forgiveness heals regret

Gratitude and forgiveness transmute regret into peace and contentment.

Thoughts like – I am grateful for the times I felt joy, trigger contentment, and heal thoughts like, I wish I had used my time wisely.

Thoughts like, I made so many mistakes… if only I had when met with thoughts like, I forgive myself now, create shifts in consciousness.

It’s subtle and takes time. You get to decide whether it is worth it or not.

Here is a lovely little exercise:

Sit with the phrases below as you hold your finger of choice:

I accept my desires, disappointments and regrets

I let go of the need to hold onto them

I forgive the lies

I am grateful for this moment  

Dwi’s Thoughts on DESIRE

I came from a very hardworking family that believes if we want something, we need to work hard to earn it. I remember having a very limited collection of toys as I never dared to ask my parents to buy me one. In return for the things that I wanted; I would need to do some sort of work. Either I needed to help in the kitchen or spend a few hours in the family shop as a shopkeeper after school.

Looking back at my earlier years, my parents had to take care of 5 children and took care of 2 clothing shops at the same time. It was a lot of work in their hands. Hence, I was chosen to stay with my grandparents who lived about 2 hours away from where my parents lived. As I was separated from my 4 other siblings and parents since the age of 6, I developed this belief that I am not loved and I am not important.  This influenced my behaviour, and I developed a “whatever” attitude which was destructive to myself and the people I love the most.  

Growing Up

Growing up, I was surrounded by friends living in luxury and could easily have any trending item. I was never bothered about not having it or wanting the same items. I desired love and recognition. There was an occasion when I was in high school, a very close friend of mine went for a group outing to which I was not invited. It made me feel lonely and believe that I deserved to be left out as I was not important.

I was known as a cheerful positive young girl, always full of smiles. But deep inside I felt sad and lonely when I was not invited to the many family occasions, or when other family members were recognised for certain achievements instead of me.

Later, when I got married, I became a control freak, jealous, full of rage and anger. I was also insecure about my appearance and further hurt when told how to dress. My mood relied on others’ approval and recognition. It was a roller coaster of emotions when something happened not as expected.  I would shut myself off and my thoughts were dancing and singing repeatedly that, I was not loved nor important.

But that was back then…

Dwi Santini is a delightful, talented, and engaging LiberatingTouch Facilitator. She runs LiberatingTouch workshops in Bali. We encourage you to get in touch with her (dwi.santini@hotmail.com ) and book into her next workshop. You can find more information about her on LinkedIn-  https://www.linkedin.com/in/dwi-santini-08113b30/

That is all for now. In the next blog, we will continue to explore desire. Message us, if you have a specific observation or question about desire. Thank you.

Blessings and love, Ranjana

Ps. If you would like to know how to navigate your desires, relationships, and life with LiberatingTouch you may be interested in joining our next workshop “Living Compass” beginning 9th September 2023. Details can be found at: https://fb.me/e/G7cp0c9e We would love you to join us for “Living Compass”.