Forgiveness and Wellness

At the beginning of the year, I began a series of blogs on Wellness.

I wrote that Wellness for me is…

  • The practice of diving deep into the well of nectarine sweetness within and drawing from it Joy, Peace, Beauty and Goodness.
  • The ability to be Detached and Self-confident in all situations.
  • Taking responsibility and nourishing this body, mind and spirit
  • Getting active, flexible, flowing and expressing creative energy

To simplify this further, the four keys that unlock these 4 pathways are:

  • Oneness
  • Detachment
  • Nourishment
  • Flow

So, in this blog, I focus on one quality that will help you experience oneness, detachment, nourishment and flow and that is FORGIVENESS.

Without knowing forgiveness one can never really experience the full power/potential of being deserving, worthy and secure in the SELF (Love and Truth).

Aren’t you Angry?

Somebody asked me recently, aren’t you angry at the state of the world, at the dictators, the ignorant, the thieves… and I responded, how will anger help me or help the situation? The person did not have an answer. I then asked, how will being forgiving and peaceful help me or help the situation? What will give me greater strength (anger or forgiveness) to battle with the forces of ignorance? The person’s eyes widened.

Anger helps me react, take immediate action, but it fuels action with unhelpful energy and inevitably exhausts me. When angry, I let it flow through me (I may have a fiery moment or two) which i instantly surrender to God (Love and Truth). By surrender I mean, I accept the consequences of my volatility, I trust I will learn from the experience. I can then use the remaining (residual) passionate energy to move into forgiveness and peace. This shift helps me take sustainable creative action. It is important at times to be assertive, vocal and clear about what you value, about what matters. Peace and forgiveness helped me realise, there are times I need to do and say things that are unpalatable or challenging. In the interests of wellness, you will need to face great adversity, witness pain, and perhaps say to a friend, “no, it’s not ok”.

Forgiveness is the energy that creates space for healing to emerge.

What is the Purpose of Forgiveness?

In today’s world forgiveness is one of those traits that is given plenty of lip service but very little consideration. We are quick to say sorry, but what does it mean? Children are taught to say sorry, to apologise, but do they know why? What is the purpose of forgiveness?

For – Giving

It is for giving ourselves, you, me, and that, the freedom to learn, embrace and move on. Without forgiveness we remain at odds with the past, with each other. Separate and unyielding, we become attached to a story that hurts. Starved of forgiveness, our being hits wall after wall of resistance on this journey of life. Creation is constantly forgiving.

Is it easy or challenging for you to rest?

How do you know if you are truly forgiving or if you are unforgiving? A good test would be – Can you take 5 (seconds / minutes / hours / days) and let your mind empty, let go of the to do list, accept the moment in its entirety? If you can, then you are enjoying the benefits of being forgiving. If you struggle with uncertainty, are seeking control, and need approval, then the chances are you are unforgiving.

The Magic of Rest – Rest is forgiving  

Rest is still the most neglected of all wellness supporters. There is much ado about diet, sleep, exercise, retreats, creative pursuits… but not so much on resting (not sleeping), but resting – observing, listening, day-dreaming, contemplating, reflecting, breathing, accepting, doing nothing, being, trusting, knowing… It is magic. While resting we heal, get inspired, integrate, and feel well.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if schools had classes for children on giving the mind a rest, and the sweetness of forgiveness? I trust this is the future.

A society that struggles to rest is a society that is unforgiving.

Energy Conservation and Rest

On a slightly different note, but with parallel intent, i would like to bring the same forgiving compassion to our society that is so hungry for energy. It just can’t get enough, can’t switch off. But what if it could? What if we did power down from staying switched on regularly?

Eddie and I have a great energy provider (Octopus Energy) all their electricity comes from 100% renewable sources. They have been trialling a series of voluntary “power cuts” as I like to call them. Where once a week during peak electricity usage times, for example 5.30pm to 6.30pm we switch everything off. I love doing this. We use it as a time for lighting a candle and resting. We still have the mobile phone, mobile data (we even switch off the router), the laptop, and torches available, so it really is easy. For an hour we conserve energy. We don’t put the kettle on, have the heating switched off, no lights, all the gadgets (including Alexa) are switched off. Our world is free from the electricity hum. It is glorious. I love knowing that by doing this we make a very conscious choice. We can embrace power cuts gladly, and say no to energy that comes via fracking, war, destruction etc. These are forgiving choices. For giving me the peace of mind in these troubled times.

Forgiveness nurtures non-violence, trust and the knowing that justice does not have to be payback but can be paid forward. Justice can be served through reconciliation and transformation.

The Paradox of Forgiveness

The more you experience giving and receiving forgiveness the less you seek or require it. I could expand on this, but it is one of those things that need to be lived.

In my experience probably one of the most misunderstood aspects of forgiveness is that of turning the other cheek. People assume it means, “hit/hurt me more…”. My understanding of Divinity is that it would never want us to perpetuate the cycle reactivity, but encourages the cultivation of compassionate detachment. What if this phrase, turn the other cheek really means, watch my posterior (buttock) cheek as i leave?

To judge is the nature of the mind, to forgive is the nature of the Heart. When we use the faculties of the mind with the the Heart’s compassionate awareness we live in harmony.

To forgive is to live in truth. Forgiveness keeps us from distorting our experiences and prevents us from deceiving ourselves or others.

Desire

Our desires also impact how and what we forgive. When you recognise completely, that you have what you want, and you want what you have, forgiveness is effortless.

A super short LiberatingTouch sequence for opening to Forgiveness

While holding any one of your fingers, bring your awareness to your breath, allow your shoulders to relax and your eyes to gently rest. As your breath deepens let your mind open to the phrase, “I forgive myself through all time and space in this moment.” Notice any resistance, reactivity, restfulness, responsive sensations. After 2 or 3 minutes stretch your arms and legs have a sip of water and go about your day. It will be worth practicing this exercise for a few days.

If you would like to share your experience, I invite you to join our Facebook group –  LiberatingTouch – The Practice of Love and Truth @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/liberatingtouchcentre and share your experience. I look forward to learning from your insights.  

Many moons ago, in 2009, I had written an article to support EFT students and practitioners with their explorations of forgiveness. You can access this here.

The article first published in Emotional Buzz in 2009 http://emotionalbuzz.com/articles/article104RA/index.html?

Spotlight on Monica Furlan

LiberatingTouch Facilitator. Monica’s experiences as a mother, an educator, an adventurer, brings a depth of compassion to the healing journey. She listens, learns, and then with magical intent draws from her well of creativity, suggestions, pathways, sequences that bring about deep healing, transformation and understanding. Monica has a way of making her students and clients feel cherished, embraced, and open to miracles born of compassion. You can book sessions with her in 2023.

Email address: monica_furlan@hotmail.com

That’s all for now, Love, love, love and infinite blessings, Ranjana

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